


Owen Goes Snorkeling

by Bungalow_Stories



Category: Jurassic World - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Jerboa - Freeform, Other, Sploosh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 11:12:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9721733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bungalow_Stories/pseuds/Bungalow_Stories
Summary: I wasn't joking, Christian. I really wasn't.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [christian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/christian/gifts).



Dedicated to my dear Christian, who thought I was joking when I said I'd make this a real thing. I am so sorry. So sorry. Happy Valentine's Day? . . .

"Okay, let's figure this out."  
"No need to be so formal. I say we just let it happen."  
"Says the woman who organizes dates via itinerary."  
"Will you ever let that go?"  
"Never. Not in a million years. Now let's give it a shot."  
"Alright, let me know what's comfortable."  
"I'd be more concerned about what _you're_ feeling."  
"I'm not the one in danger."  
"Danger? What, from your legs?"  
"Yeah. I could squish you."  
"I'm not a bug."  
"You're a jerboa."  
"So?"  
"You're three inches tall."  
"Four inches, and that's not including my tail. Size isn't an issue, really. I heard mice can fit through holes the size of a dime."  
"Ew."  
"Well, before you go acting all grossed out by it, don't forget what we're doing."  
"I know, I know. But it's different when it's you."  
"Glad to hear it. So let's get started. Should I back in or go head first?"  
"Try both."  
"At once?"  
". . . No . . ."  
"Okay, I'll try backwards first so I can breathe."  
"Ouch!"  
"Okay, that's definitely not happening. Forward?"  
"Sure. Take this straw."  
"Oh, fun! Can I use a swirly straw next time?"  
"Hush."  
"Alright, alright. This should be more efficient, since I won't have to come up for air. Here we go . . ."  
"Ah!"  
"Pffft! What?!"  
"Don't use claws!"  
"You act like I'm brandishing talons of death."  
"It's very uncomfortable!"  
"Okay, fine! I'll just go nose-first."  
"Please."  
". . . Mphrgrm?"  
"What?"  
"I said 'is that okay'."  
"Yeah, it's fine."  
"Okay."  
". . ."  
". . . Mphrgrm?"  
"What?"  
"I said 'are you enjoying yourself'."  
"I am."  
"Good."  
". . ."  
"Mph-"  
"FOR GOD'S SAKE, OWEN, JUST KEEP GOING!"  
"Okay, okay!"  
". . ."  
". . ."  
". . ."  
"AH!"  
"Oh god . . ."  
"Warn me next time!"  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry . . ."  
"Well, at least I didn't get squished . . ."  
"Yeah . . ."  
". . ."  
". . . Again?"  
"You bet."


End file.
